Quite Personal Update

Screwed me.

Any girl.

If any girl would have gretted me last saturday, I would be fine to day, I may even would be happy, thinking about what to some next time I enter the location. But even if ther would have been no girl last weekend, I still would do better then I do now.

Lieing in bed at night, reviewing what happened last weekend, wondering what will happen next, IF there is anything to happen. Sitting infront to a WoW Beta, guessing what I could do wrong if somethings happens. Wondering about those legs.


You don't know what I'm taking about? Well lets start at the begining.

As I was still young, fresh and in the 5th grad.
Well, I always was that outsider typ guy, standing in the corner, with some other guy I called friends, normaly far away from the ... 'cool' lot.
But a part of that lot was a girl. That that was special about that girl was not that she didn't hate me like the others did, but she also laught about my jokes, despite the fackt that the most of those jokes where about her and how short she is growing.
So the years passed, and I made a lot of jokes about her, in the 8th grad I started to believe that she hates me for those jokes (~4 years of jokes about her, she must have hated me at that time).

After the 8th grad we all walked different way. The 'cool' lot started to get them self some jobs, or little more school education. I was one of the few to actually make a heigher education, so did she, just a different school in a different city.
So you may can imagen how often we have seen. But never the les, those few sights were enougth that I started to realize that I like her. Realy liked her. Thought about her even if I didn't had seen her for month. Holding a picure of her in my mind.

Slowly time passed and I started to forget about her. I never saw her anymore, and started thinking about other girls I've mett over time. Getting other pictures.
To be pricise about it, I completly forgot her, don't even bothing about how she would be thies days.
I was lifing happiely, was thinking about a lot of other girl, but mainly thinking on how I could become a great Game Designer one day. Girls only were a asset to that dream. Happy feeling where striped to songs, and no picutes on my mind anymore.


Till last weekent.


It was my second time in that location. After a few shy tries I started to make some moves on the dance floor, and as I realized that no one cares about me making those wired movements, I realy freaked out and started dancing (I actually think that I'm a good dancer, but I'm not in the position to judge this now).

Two eys.
A short glance.

First I thought 'Hey, I know that face', and then 'Hey, thats that girl I once used to make jokes about', 'Whats her name?', 'She turned out to be a good looking girl', '... those legs ...'

... And I hade some other thoughts ...

'... Did she just looked to me?!?'
'Woops, I think she remembers me too.'
'Hm? Where did she went? ... And who trys to grap my shoulder at my left ...'

"Hi, long time not seen..." she said.

It was a short dialog, not longer then a minute and strongly muffeled by the background sounds that was the dance music. We talked about what we're making at the moment and what we have done to get ther.
In the middle of that she was forced by her following girls to go with them to the restroom. A minute is not much time to share information, but it can have a great impact on other things.

Later our eyes crossed each other once in a while, ... probably because I was danceing just two meter away from her, ... with my back to her, as I tried to focus on some other potential girl.
But steping on a foot that belongs to a friend of her, made me turn once, and the other time I set down to relax a few minutes (I probably was the only dancer in that club that didn't got some alcohole, nor other stuff in his blood, and so I needed a rest once in a while), she and her girls stand next to me, with their back to me giving a perfect view of her legs, as they watched other people dance. Again with some movements of people, causeing us to see each other.

She did smile. I'm sure about that. I didn't imagen that.


Anyway, she leaft a hour before I did, she didn't sayed goodby.


Any girl.

Any girl that I would have tracked with my eyes that night, ... I could have walked up to her and talk to her, or even dance with her.
But she ... we got a history. I know her and she knows me (at least she knows my past, and I'm not proud of my 'stupid' past). I can't just go to her and start talking ... not without a couse ... not without seeing her.

Well and that why I'm sitting here, infront of my PC, wondering if I actually will see her again, were that might be, or if she dose like me too.


Not to mention how hard it is to get those legs out of your mind.


Greg the Mad